


Ringing In My Ears

by Lucy_Claire



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucy_Claire/pseuds/Lucy_Claire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are hard to get over and for Pacifica it's the sound that shaped her childhood: bells.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ringing In My Ears

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 'It's okay to cry, you know' requested by Tumblr user bluedauntlesscake46

It was one of the few times Pacifica let Mabel drag her out and around before noon. It was summer, getting up before ten should be banned, as a matter of fact Pacifica needed it to be banned because she just couldn’t help but being irritable and cranky this early, especially when she went to sleep at around two.

“Think I can pay someone to make time go forward by three hours?” Pacifica huffed, pushing her shades up her nose and tipping her sunhat further down to block the burning sunlight from sleepy eyes. “Or is that something our universe isn’t ready for yet?”

“The universe is a hologram,” Mabel said automatically in a spacey voice.

“What in the name of atrophied physics did you just say?”

Mabel shrugged dismissively, head still lolling side to side to the tune of the song being pumped out of the outlet speakers. “Something Bill said the first time he showed up.”

Bill. The thing that deformed her father’s face into Salvador Dali’s worst nightmare and turned Gravity Falls into an Eldrith-esque dystopia in the span of a week.

“Time travel is possible though, Dipper and I did it the day I got Waddles,” said Mabel casually, like she had just said “They have lemon ice cream, Dipper and I just got some.”

“Okay, that’s a story for when I’m caffeinated and capable of understanding what’s going on. Where are we again?” Pacifica shaded her eyes with her hand as she looked around the spacious compound of shops.

“The outlet, silly.”

Mabel was practically skipping next to her, wearing another of her bright godforsaken sweaters. Who wore sweaters in the summer? Well, Mabel did, but why? Why sweaters? Why couldn’t she be like every other fashion disaster in this town and wear socks with sandals?

“Don’t do that, I changed my mind.”

Mabel stopped her hyperactive monologue about the possessed snow cone machine Mr. Pines brought into the Shack and how they could use its ice ball-tossing tantrums to cool down. “You don’t want a snowball fight in July?”

Pacifica pushed up her shades and rubbed her eyes. “Did I say that out loud? I was thinking about something else.”

Mabel giggled, letting go of Pacifica’s hand and linking their arms so she could steer Pacifica in the right direction, which thankfully happened to be a coffeehouse. “Boy, are you tired.”

Pacifica rested her head against Mabel’s, bending the rims of both their sunhats. “So tired.”

“Let’s get you an espresso.”

“And a latte milkshake.”

Mabel bounced back into a skipping pace. “First one to get a whipped-cream mustache is a winner!” 

“You’re an idiot.”

“Shh, you love my idiocy.”

Pacifica really did, Mabel’s ability to not give a shit about most things and turn every situation into a joke was a trait she needed in her high-strung life, the unexpected laughter and childish wonder was something Pacifica was forced to grow out of too early and she was only now getting back some of it, some of that genuine happiness.

“Yeah, I do.” Pacifica pecked her cheek, getting some of Mabel’s makeup body glitter on her chin. “Now go get my coffee.”

Mabel pushed open the door and rang the bell hanging above it and the sound wormed its way into Pacifica’s head and stiffened her up like a jolt of electricity through her body. It kept ringing as the door moved, the sound identical to one that came from her father’s trigger bell, the one he used to train her emotions and reactions, to keep her in line.

“Ciffy?” Mabel reached out to touch her shoulder. “Ciffy, you okay?”

Pacifica stepped out of Mabel’s reach and walked backwards away from the coffeehouse, when she reached the corner of the building she ran out of sight and into the alley between the shops.

She slid down the wall and took off her hat and shades, breathing in and out, blinking the first sting of tears away from her eyes.

Mabel followed her in. “You okay?”

Pacifica dabbed her eyes with a tissue, making sure not to smudge her eyeliner. “I’m fine.”

Mabel kneeled across from her, hat in her hands, concern in her eyes. “Sure you are.”

“Really, I’m fine, I’m just a bit— a bit not myself right now. I’ll be fine after I have my coffee.”

“It was the bell, wasn’t it?”

Pacifica stopped and slowly looked up at Mabel. “Stupid, isn’t it?”

Mabel sat back, folding her legs. “It’s not stupid, whoever said it was stupid?”

“Anyone who’d find out I get freaked out by bells.”

“You have a right, that bell your dad used on you screwed you up, it was screwed up to treat you like you were Pavlov’s dog. You were strong to go against it.”

“If I was strong I would be over it.”

Mabel pulled Pacifica’s hands away from her face and replaced them with hers, thumbs stroking the tips of her cheekbones. “It doesn’t work like that, being strong doesn’t mean not feeling anything it, it means feeling it and powering through it one day at a time. I mean, you think Dipper and I aren’t still freaked out by anything shaped like a triangle, because we are, and to anyone else that looks stupid but to us it isn’t, just like the bell isn’t to you.”

Pacifica shook her head. “I am powering through it, it’s just sometimes it hits me in a way I can’t shake off and I want to get over it completely, I do.”

“Hey, hey, shh, what did I say about feeling.” Mabel’s thumbs brushed the wet corners of Pacifica’s eyes. “It’s okay to cry, you know, that’s the first step of recovery.”

At her words, Pacifica stopped holding back and let the tears fall, not even thinking about the state of her cheeks and the dripping the mascara that stained them.

“Feel better?”

Pacifica wiped her eyes and smiled sadly. “Actually, yeah.”

Mabel kissed every part of her face, getting a laugh from Pacifica. “Atta girl.”

Pacifica rolled up on her knees and hugged her. Mabel hugged her back and kissed her a cheek, whispering, “Hey, another step forward is laughing at the situation. Wanna hear a bell joke?”

“Hit me with your worst.”

“What does a bellringer get when he goes a while without ringing a church bell?”

“What?”

“Bluebells.”

“Okay, that is truly the worst.”

“You love it.”

“I do, I love you, too, Ma-bell.”

Mabel’s cackling laughter was the loudest thing in the alley and it drowned out any trace of the bell in Pacifica’s head.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://lucyclairedelune.tumblr.com)


End file.
